In Focus

Tim the Web Guy

NOTE: All this month in the Chicks' Eye View we will be featuring the richest of the rich from the Forbes List of the World's Richest People. Just who are they and how'd they get to be so filthy rich?

Tim Tedder, "our web guy," told me the other day that our articles aren't what they used to be on this site. Excuse me? What'dya mean they aren't what they used to be? He went on to say that they used to have a more creative flavor. I think what he was trying to say is that our articles have become boring. We write and write and write, wanting to give you all the information we can, and somewhere we forgot that we have a sense of humor. Well listen up, Timmy... this article's for you.

Since we are writing about the Forbes List of Millionaires/Billionaires all this month, let's write about this one. Tim the Web Guy: How He Made It On the List.

Little Timmy grew up in Indianapolis, Indiana, the son of a farmer man. He had dreams of using his fingers in ways none of the ranchers had ever dreamed. Tim didn't like milking cows, he didn't enjoy tying up horses, and he knew he was done detasseling corn. His fingers were made for bigger things; he just didn't know what. So he took up the guitar at age 11.

You might have seen him on Star Search. Ed McMahon called him The Indiana Cowboy Kid. (Note to reader: This was the same year that the documentary was done on Jeff Bezos' and his genius. Who would have known that The Indiana Cowboy Kid and Mr. Bezos would have so much in common?) Timmy's song, "I don't want to grow up to be a cowboy, so I'll get drunk and lay myself down on the railroad track until the right job comes along, or a train, whatever's first," was a hit from the day it went across the airwaves. It struck a chord with people across the Midwest who were sick and tired of following the family occupation.

Timmy then developed a rare disease called laryngitisforlife and his singing career was over. He still had his phalanges, but how was he going to use them to make him some cash? What was his purpose in this thing called life?

He consulted a psychic via an 800 number one night after falling down drunk on the tracks, where Lucette found him and picked him up. She suggested calling Star, her own personal skygazer, as she had been enlightened more than once at 1-800-URDESTNY. Star answered the phone and immediately knew this man was something special; she even went as far as calling him electric. (Lucette was giddy as she thought so, too.) Star told Tim to head west and pan for gold. That was his calling -- gold mining in California.

He and Lucette packed up the little red Ford pinto and headed west. They got to California in the late 80's. All the gold was gone, and so was their money.

He was forced to take a job at a small start-up computer company run by a guy named Michael Dull. He and Michael were tight. They exchanged ideas about how a keyboard should be laid out on a laptop. Tim had brilliant ideas about the bounce-back spring of the keys, and how big a backspace should be. Tim had found his niche, the keyboard. Michael had found his man, his right hand man, with the great fingers. They called their computer maker company, Dull Computers.

Throughout the years, Michael and Timmy built Dull to become the biggest and best direct-to-customer PC manufacturer. But Timmy knew there was more to his future. He sold his shares of Dull in 1999, netting 890 million dollars.

He and Lucette moved back to Indiana and bought a farm. Tim hired some high school boys to run the place and moved his parents into the guest barn out back. Tim made himself an office that was, and still is, the envy of the local mercantile manager. Tim wanted to get into web design.

He contacted the Chicks. He really liked our book and the whole Chick concept of learning as a club and becoming educated about the stock market. (He still had no idea what he was doing with his money. He found our site doing a Yahoo search on chicks for "a friend," but found our investment book instead.) Tim started a club and began investing his millions. Then he called and asked if could help us design a site and maybe propel the idea into millions of homes.

Tim doesn't need to work anymore, but he runs this website for free as part of his "Giving Back To the Community." Thank God I wrote that chapter. Tim is now worth 1.6 billion and he and Lucette have five little cowchildren running around the farm. Timmy Jr. is singing his dad's old hits by the campfire every night, and little Lucy reads tarot cards for any visitors. Tim "The Web Guy" is a billionaire and one to be modeled after. I am just having a tough time trying to find his name on the Forbes List. Do you think Tim could have been lying to me about all this that night back in September over a beer?

Stay tuned. Next week, I'll feature billionaire Michael Dell, Dull Computer's biggest competition. Oh, and next time, Timmy, be careful about what you say. I can make up another great story at the flip of a sign-on switch. By the way, Happy Birthday, Billionaire!

Chick Karin

NOTE from Web Management: Now, this is what I was talkin' about! You need more of this kind of stuff. Great job.
--Tim of t2designs.com