Weekly Wrap

I have a friend who is a stockbroker. This past week he started throwing up blood. His ulcer that had been under control for the past four years came back twenty times worse. He can't leave the house because he has to be close to a toilet. Both ends are spewing. Well, it's no wonder... did you see yesterday's article? The sky is falling. On Thursday, the Dow dipped below a 20% loss for the past 52 week... officially hitting bear market status for a couple of hours. I'm sure glad I'm a Chick and not a Broker. Who could deal with all that stress? Who even wants to pay attention? It's times like this that we want to turn off the TV, burn the newspaper, and coach our kids' Floor Hockey teams.

That's exactly what I did. I coached my daughter's Junior High Floor Hockey Team to the 2001 Championships. What a blessing to have something else to do while the market crashes.

The Dow started the week at 9823.41 and by the end of the day rose to 9,589.11 as investors hoped to hear good news from the Fed on Tuesday. But, Tuesday came, and disappointed. Alan Greenspan spoke. The market was hoping for him to lower interest rates by three-quarters of a percent, but he only lowered them by a half of a percent. Can you say depression? How about bleeding ulcer? The sky fell, and kept falling into Wednesday where the Dow closed at 9,487.  Why not continue into Thursday, Mr. Bear? At 1:00 PM on Thursday, the Dow hit 9,114.91, making it 20% off it's high of January 14, 2000 of 11,723. Any time a market falls 20% it qualifies as a bear market. Investors were freakin'. (My friend was almost admitted to the hospital.) By 4:00 PM on Thursday, it had rebounded to 9,389.48... so it avoided the BEAR TAG to close the day. On Friday, the Dow closed at 9504.78... still 3.2% lower than it started. Does anyone remember the big party when the Dow hit 10,000? It was two years ago. I remember being glued to the television saying, "I can't believe The Dow has hit 10,000!!!" Little did I know then that I'd do anything to plan another Dow 10,000 party tomorrow!

The Nasdaq was the little bright spot this past week. Last week it closed at 1890, and this week... IT'S UP!!! It closed at 1928.97... 2% higher than last week. It's the first time all year that it has closed UP!!! Yes Margaret, there is a God, and let's hope he sticks around for a while.

A few of the newsworthy items of this past week were...

Shania Twain announced that she is pregnant with her first child. She's thirty-five years old and been married to her manager, Mutt Lang, for seven years. We know whose bed his boots have been under.

Sorry, I had to throw that in there. Even though I seem to know a little bit about the market, I still know what scoops are the most important.

Proctor and Gamble (PG) announced they will be cutting more than 9 percent of their workforce, amounting to at least 9,600 jobs. So sad. In the past two years, the company has laid off more than 24,000 employees at a company that used be regarded as one of  those "job-for-life" employers. The makers of Crest toothpaste, Pampers and Tide detergent currently employs 110,000 people worldwide.

Charles Schwab Corp., (SCH), the nation's largest online broker, also announced plans to cut jobs, 3,400 jobs.or 13 percent of their workforce. I'm guessing there a few employees at Schwab who also have bleeding ulcers, which are about to get worse over the next six to eight weeks as they begin the layoffs.

Three of the other large brokerage houses, Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, Bear Stearns, and Lehman Brothers, all announced steep first quarter earnings declines. Need I go into the bleeding ulcer stories?

Nothing exciting happened on Survivor on Thursday, it was a recap of the weeks leading up to Thursday. I was a little disappointed, but, get this, they decided to streeeeeetch the show out to run into the May sweeps, so they are throwing in two "re-cap" shows. Excuse me? Is it possible to vote off the producers in charge of making those decisions?

About 900 employees aren't going to survive their lifetime at their current jobs at Oracle (ORCL). The company announced that they soon would be laying off 2 percent of their workforce due to, duh, economic conditions.

United Parcel Service (UPS) warned investors that its first quarter earnings could be as much as 12 percent lower than the same quarter last year. This slowing economy is filtering everywhere... how long do you think before they announce layoffs?

Boeing Co., (BA) the airplane manufacturer announced that they would soon be moving their headquarters out of Seattle, where it was founded 85 years ago. It shocked local government leaders who pleaded with Boeing to reconsider. Boeing employs more than 1,000 people in the Seattle area, but they would like to consolidate their operations to one central location as they have been scattered across 26 states. The new site should be chosen by early summer and running by fall. Hmmm... I've heard rumblings that there are a few employees of Boeing in the St. Louis area as I type. Could it be?

AOL Time Warner (AOL) announced plans to launch its own Cable Music Station in 2002. They expect it to compete with VH-1 and MTV. I can hardly wait... "You've Got Music; AOL Behind the Mail" with REO Speedwagon. On the news, the stock jumped 6 percent. Looks like other investors are as pumped about another cable music option as I am. Also, look for Ticketmaster to start selling concert tickets on AOL, the most popular internet service provider. Now if only they could get REO to do a revival tour in my city.

One more important story in my life to hit the wires this week. McDonalds (MCD) will soon be marketing a "Mighty Kids Meal", a bigger version of their "Happy Meal". Finally, someone has answered my four-kid-household prayers. The new meals will offer either a double hamburger, double cheeseburger or a six piece Chicken McNuggets meal. According my kids, they've totally named it wrong as "Mighty Kids Meal" sounds like it is for even tinier people. They would have preferred, "Super Happy Meal".

You gotta love kids. Gives you something to talk about in down markets.

Closing Market Numbers