Weekly Wrap

Did I say I was busy last time I wrote the Weekly Market Wrap? Man alivers... every week is getting busier and busier. You must be sick of hearing it by now, but this one takes the cake. I've traveled from Hanover, Germany to Amsterdam to Minneapolis to Calgary. Unpacked. Repacked. Got audited by Revenue Canada and the IRS and flew back to Minnesota. All, in one week. My eyes are the puffiest they've been since they took my APGAR score. What kills me is, the market keeps on going. Day in, day out... it opens and it closes. There's good news here, earnings-reports there, splits and halts. I was trying to keep track of my passport and suddenly realized I'd lost track of the S&P! Praise the Lord for the Internet. With a quick browse of our Chicks' Message Board and a swipe of a few Internet sites, I've come to bring you the market wrap... in German.

Habben zie ein zimmer frei?

Gawd, I'm funny.

That was the extent of my German, "Do you have a room free?" Excuse the spelling; the pronunciation is even worse. Here's what I really found out in my Internet search.

Chick Megan's all in a tizzy this week. We are gearing up for our next buy June 1 and she's worried we are going to sell her beloved Gap (GPS), especially after the news they came out with this past week. She's so sensitive. Just because she's gaining a pregnant pound every time she blinks an eye and they'll have no cargo pants on earth to fit her in a month, doesn't mean she has to beg for Gap votes. (She'll never read this, so I can say this, she's got her nose in the fridge.)

Chick Kristin on the other hand, isn't paying any attention to that Gap. She's more interested in the Gap Band and how they are going to help her forget her puppy love "I'd like to buy the world a Coke" story. Looks like she's going to need the help of some Krispy Kremers. (Now I'm in trouble, Kristin does read these.)

Speaking of Krispy Kreme, what a FAT week they've had! First they moved over from the Nasdaq to the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE). Their new ticker symbol is (KKD), which stands for Kristin's Krispy Dream, or Krissy's Kremey Delight, or Krispy Kristy Doesn'tthinkiamfunny. On Friday, KKD announced a 2-for-1 stock split, which will take place June 14th! Imagine the size of her butt once it splits in two. Oh wait, it's Megan's behind we're watching closely.

Chick Cheryl (whose butt is the size of my pinky) ran Lands' End (LE) through the Chicks' Dozen on Monday, and lo and behold, the stock jumped more than 5% by Friday!! Do you think that many people are reading the Chicks' Eye View?? Wow. What? What Business Week article? Oh, you mean the one that cited rumors to the affect that Lands' End is considering selling the company? Yah, well that came out on Friday, and it's true that there is a rumor circulating, but I'm sure Lands' End chairman Gary Comer read Chick Cheryl's article and realized what a great company he was running, and is entertaining ideas of making a buck by selling. The word in Cyberspace is that both Sears and German mail-order giant Otto Versand have some interest. Way to go, Cheryl! (Again, these are rumors, and rumors tend to do that to the price of a stock. By Monday morning the rumor will be denied, and the stock will fall 5%. Fickle day-traders. Who has the time? Although, I broke up with an old boyfriend on hearsay. Thank goodness he still married me.)

My favorite retailer, and a company I own stock in, Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF) announced their earnings this past week and beat Wall Street estimates by THREE CENTS!! In the days of missed earnings and lowered expectations, my ANF is kicking Megan's @$$ GPS. (If she does read this, she's going to get all teary eyed at this point in the article and probably won't sleep for fear we just might sell GPS and buy ANF) Relax Pregan, consensus on the board has us holding your cargos until you at least can fit into them.

Other news this week...

The CEO of Nortel (NT), a Canadian networking company, Mr John Roth, announced that he is retiring next year. Like the company hasn't been through enough problems this year, his assumed replacement, COO Clarence Chandran, is also retiring due to health reasons. Roth will spend the year helping to find a predecessor.

Wal-Mart (WMT) reported their first quarter earnings this week which were in line with analysts estimates. Same store sales rose almost 4% from the same quarter last year. Chick Jeanette is pitching the company for our next buy, along with the book Where the Heart Is to anyone who will listen. (If I say a word about her butt, I'm a dead daughter.)

Meanwhile, it's not greener over the throughway at Kmart (KM). The discount retailer announced that they took a first-quarter loss due to increased spending on computer systems. I'm still long on Kmart, as it's up 91% already this year and unless Chick Jeanette can convince me otherwise, I'd rather purchase KM over WMT, Sam or no Sam. Speaking of Sam Walton, two of his daughters are married to owners of NHL hockey teams. If that isn't weird enough, one is married to the owner of the St. Louis Blues, and the other to the owner of the Colorado Avalanche... and the two teams are facing each other in the Stanley Cup semi-finals this week!! I'm sure there are a few "spirit fingers" happening at their family picnic.

From spirit fingers, I take you to Handsprings' and Palm's. (Not only am I funny, I can segue into any topic, anytime, anywhere. Just please don't put me at that Walton table.) Shares of both Handspring (HAND) and Palm (PALM) fell sharply on Friday following a warning from Palm that it's fiscal fourth-quarter loss would be more than DOUBLE what the company had expected. (Did I mention that Colorado leads the series 2-1?)

The blood runs from the fingers through the palms and to the Gateway (GTW) of Dell (DELL). They all had a rough week, with Dell lowering their earnings estimates for the next quarter and announcing more than 5,700 layoffs, and both companies announcing that PC sales for the year are down.

I must run and get busy again. I've been sitting on my rear for over an hour now and if I'm not careful, someone might mistake me for Megan. Have a great weekend!!

Chick Karin

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