Question of the Week

What's the funniest joke you've heard?

An elephant, a nun and a midget walk into a bar, and the bar tender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?" Chick Jana

I can't remember any jokes, but here's something that made me laugh yesterday: A friend of ours went to Madre's, Jennifer Lopez's new restaurant in Pasadena, the other night. Upon ordering, our friend said to the waiter, "So what's good here, besides the rump?" (He said the waiter didn't laugh.) Chick Cheryl

Daddy Bird, Momma Bird and baby Bird were all sitting on a branch. Dady Bird puts his head down under him, shakes and says, "My instincts tell me it is time to fly south for the winter." Momma Bird puts her head down under her, shakes her head and says, "My instincts also say it is time to go south for the winter." Baby Bird puts his head under himself and says, "My end stinks, too, but it didn't say anything." Jenni

Reasons computers must be male:

• They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
• A better model is always just around the corner.They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
• It is always necessary to have a backup.
• They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
• The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
• The lights are on but nobody's home. MoneyMama04

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 85, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, " Yes".
Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism? "
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."
Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob turns to Rebecca: "Sweetheart, we might as well register our wedding gift list with them!! Cash Diva

• News Alert: Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
• I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
• Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!
• Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
• Notice: Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.
• As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. Gary

A retired man and woman were walking along a beach admiring a beautiful sunset. They came upon a bottle that had been washed up on shore. They picked it up and began brushing the sand off... when suddenly a Genie appeared!

The Genie said, "I'll grant each of you one wish." He turned to the woman and asked for her wish? The woman replied, "I would like many more years to walk the beaches of the world with my husband." The Genie said, "Your wish is granted."

The Genie then turned to the man and asked for his wish. The man thought about it, looked at his wife and back to the Genie again, then said, "I wish that I was married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The Genie said "Your wish is granted."

The man was suddenly 90 years old! Sue

One guy arrives at the pearly gates and tells St.Peter his name. St. Peter looks over his list and tells the guy that there is no way he can come in. The guy is further told that he has lusted over money his entire life. In fact he loves money so much that he even married a girl named Penny.

The second guy arrives at the pearly gates and tells St. peter his name. St Peter looks over his list and tells the guy that there is no way he can come in. The guy is further told that he has had a problem with alcohol his entire life. In fact he loves alcohol so much that he even married a girl named Brandy.

The third guy arrives at the pearly gates with his wife. After hearing what the two previous guys were told, he looks over at his wife and says "Lets go Fanny, we're never getting into this place. Gary

My 9 & 7 year old think this is the funniest joke they have ever heard: Two dogs are wandering down the street and one dog says to the other "wait here I'll be right back." He runs across the street and sniffs all around a fire hydrant and runs back to his friend. His friend says, "Why were you sniffing the fire hydrant?" The other dog says, "I was checking for messages." confused in Calgary